What is enough?
This has been on my mind a great deal the past few weeks.
What is enough?
enough work.
enough sleep.
enough exercise.
enough studying.
Growing up believing that nothing was ever good “enough”.
I know how to do extra.
I know how to over deliver.
I know how to run the extra mile-literally and figuratively.
I am only now learning about moderation.
Saving some for another time.
Building up an energetic reserve.
I have lived my life earning 5 dollars of energy.
And immediately spending 10.
Going into energetic debt almost daily for the past 30 years.
If my body was a bank.
I would be charged heavy over draft fees.
Constantly spending more than your principal allows depletes.
And diminishes value and worth.
I had been doing this for too long and the interest payments were due.
My body no longer requested repayment but rather demanded it.
My practice of the past 10 months has been to re-store and re-stock.
Building a reserve is not easy for a type “A”.
Especially not for a recovered anorexic.
I fed my body the bare minimum for survival for a good decade.
Every choice we make in this life of ours has positive and negative consequences.
Whose life are we living?
What and who are we serving?
And how?
These are the big.
Pertinent questions of my life right now.
I grew up believing that the sacrifice would pay off.
that you could bank on the interest earned from sacrifice and hard work.
Hard work is hard on your system.
Not everyone is cut out for “Hard work”.
Why does everything have to be a push?
Why can it not be “soft work”?
Too much hard work without enough rest and pause takes a toll.
On body and mind.
Hard work costs us.
There is a price for every sacrifice.
We are often taught of the rewards of this hard work.
But not the cost.
enough is enough.
It is time for an honest look at our time money and energy allocation system.
How much do we spend? ie how much energy do we expend?
And do we pay ourselves back for the expenditure?
My partner is very good at this when it comes to energy.
When we first met I was doing “Orange theory” an intense workout system.
He asked me what I ate right after?
Usually not enough.
He was quite strict and warned if you do not feed yourself adequately immediately afterwards, You will not recover well.
He was right.
I was stubborn.
More was better.
right?
Work out harder.
Push yourself.
More.
Maybe I am the exception.
I do’t think so anymore.
I think we are all pushing too hard for too long.
For too little.
You cannot feed your body money.
You cannot only feed your body your successes.
You cannot only feed your body your career wins.
Your body requires food.
Rest.
Sleep.
Fun.
In order to re-set.
In order to re-gain.
its losses.
its expenditures.
I believe our set point for enough is way out of whak.
There is something to be said for the “happy medium”.
The saying has the word happy in it.
Happy is a good goal.
We all have our own set point for happy.
We all require a different allocation of energetic funds.
But we all share that we are a soul living in a body.
A body has limits and needs.
Desires.
Cravings.
What is enough for your neighbour may be too much for you.
What is too much for you, maybe perfect for your partner.
We need to find our own “enough”
Listening closely to our bodies messages.
Discerning its subtle and not so subtle signals.
Allowing for the conversation.
Not simply listening to the demands of the commanding brain.
A new kind of “enough” is emerging.
Are we patient enough to listen?
Ducit Amore 