Yellow dot Epiphany

It’s one of the things that makes my life so worthwhile.

Not the only thing, but a big one. For sure.

Years ago, when I was going through a difficult time, my good friend and chiropractor asked how I was doing.

I said that it wasn’t the easiest time, but I was learning oh so much.

He laughed and said those words would definitely have to go down on my epitaph.

Always learning. From everything and everyone.

My wise friend Joanne says. “there is no comfort in learning and there is no learning in comfort.This is truer than true!

A few weeks ago, when COVID physical isolation had just begun, we turned our dining room table into a craft table.

For my son, who is a budding mens clothing designer, for my heart art, and for my daughters crafting and designing!

One of the things we have been doing much of is painting jeans.

So much fun!

In my fun, I managed to spill a yellow paint drop on the floor.

Cameron, my man who is ever so much more organized than I am, asked in his polite way, “will you be cleaning that up?” Oh yes I said.

And, our time frames are very different when it comes to many things especially cleaning up anything and everything.

He is the clean and organized one.

I am not.

I am, but in my own time frame.

Which is always delayed in his mind.

The other morning my daughter was sitting at the craft table creating her own beautiful art. She is so talented she makes everything more beautiful just by looking at it!

She was drawing away, as she does, and I started cleaning up the apartment.

First the baseboards, then the walls, and then my eye spotted quite literally the yellow dot on the floor!

It was time to clean that up.

I quickly went and pulled a knife out of the kitchen drawer.

I began to chip away at the spot.

With every chip that came off, I had a new epiphany.

Here it was 25 days after I had initially spilled the paint on the floor, cleaning it up. Perfect timing for me.

Not so perfect for Cameron.

I then began to think about all the other perfect and imperfect timing situations that I like to play God about.

Believing that I know better.

They were everywhere in my life.

With every paint chip that came off, I recalled yet one more example of where and how I thought my timing was superior.

Silent superiority.

HA!

Gotta love it.

I can be so arrogant.

I realized that I had an internal (hidden) and most likely external opinion about everyone else’s timing…..and of course it was always in direct relationship with my own. How it impacted my own comfort, my own sense of safety.

And I carried judgement about it.

“Why hasn’t that happened sooner?”

“Why are they still in that relationship?”

“Why haven’t I figured that out yet?”

As if there exists some right and wrong in terms of time and timing.

Convenient and inconvenient.

It has all taken up so much internal real estate for me.

Thinking that I know best for anyone including myself in many moments.

It is exhausting!

Not my job anymore!

This COVID experience has been far from convenient for anyone anywhere.

And yet the timing is perfect for the planet.

The trees and birds all around me are blooming and chirping  in full glory.

With far less pollution to interfere with their growth and becoming.

And I believe when we take away the frustration and fear, we are all becoming more fully ourselves. We have the opportunity to anyways.

The timing for our comfort and the timing for our evolution do not often, if ever line up straight.

Evolution is never linear.

Our own and that of the world.

My yellow dot epiphany will stay with me.

Good thing I left it there on the floor for so long!

The image is clear and beautifully yellow imprinted like the sun in my minds eye!