Having Disappointment over for a cup of Tea

Giving emotions air space is one of my favourite past times.

I know for sure when they get stuck inside of me, it is NOT a good thing.

Also, when they take up too much space that is also not a great thing.

Two weekends ago, my lovely love of my life triggered some big disappointment. OHHHH it was a doozy. 

I was no longer going to keep it inside of me…so I let him have it! Never a loving act to plaster your negative feelings on someone you love.

I thought about it afterwards. What is the right amount of time to feel or experience an unpleasant emotion? After all there is only one letter separating the word allow and wallow. I want to allow, not wallow, and certainly not project!

I had the image of inviting my disappointment over for tea. A civilized meeting. With a beginning, middle and end.

A tea is less than a meal, and longer than a casual hello at the grocery store.

What I realized was that I had the tendency to allow the negative emotion to stay longer – all in the name of being thorough…I thought! a tea would turn into couch surfing! This was not helpful!

I would end up resenting the initial emotion and then I would have resentment to deal with as well.

It would be like having someone over for a quick and civilized tea, and then having them leave their dirty laundry in your living room, after overstaying their welcome. YOU are welcome to say no! No thank you! This was not my desired outcome.

Disappointment was giving its audience over tea, and then life resumed in a kind, and generous way. This distinction has been very helpful in separating the W from allowing!
I hope this is helpful!